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swagtail kym coco sea of spirituality pinterest

Did you know that there are approximately 352 quintillion gallons of water in the ocean? That’s 352,000,000,000,000,000,000 gallons! The animals in that environment swim with grace and ease. They don’t think about their watery container to sustain life any more than we think about needing the air around us to breathe. Spirituality is like that for me. It’s all around me, and part of me, and I can’t be separated from it. I believe we’re swimming in a sea of spirituality.

To think of it another way, we’re infinite energetic beings having a human experience. The prana, or life force that is the foundation of the entire Universe, is also flowing through us. The beasts of the planet don’t question it. They romp around Earth instinctively. They’re present in the moment.

We’re different, though. We have a conscious mind that allows us to observe ourselves. We can travel through time and space with the power of thought and we can contemplate our true nature. We’re able to imagine what our future will look like. And, while we have strong instincts like our furry friends, it takes practice to be in the present moment and to channel our spirituality on purpose.

I believe we can swim effortlessly in the sea of spirituality, AND we can deliberately direct our path in it. I share specific techniques to do this in the monthly Brilliant Becoming Program. This blog post shows you how to get started, too.

Photo Credit: Matt Hardy

SPIRITUALITY IN QUESTION

The idea for this article was inspired by a recent email I received from a member of our community. She asked a few pointed questions about my time caregiving for Steve.

  • “What kept me grounded?” and
  • “Where did I seek spiritual guidance?”

I had to pause and reflect on what really worked for me during that three-year period. Before I give you my responses, let’s start with my definitions of these terms so that you understand where I’m coming from and why I answered in the way I did.

Spirituality Defined

I just finished the book Strong Ground by Brene Brown. In fact, it’s one of many I’ve recently read that points to the incredible fact that we can harness the power of the mind to create life on purpose.

I really liked her definition of spirituality. Brown says that,

“Spirituality is recognizing and celebrating that we are all inextricably connected to each other by a power greater than all of us, and our connection to that power and to one another is grounded in love, compassion, and mystery.”

Centeredness Defined

The power greater than all of us is where it all begins. That’s the core of who we are. It’s the soul or essence of us that lies behind the thoughts in our mind or the physical exterior we embody. The spirit is our center.

Most people only focus on the outer layers. They are concerned with the body first, and when they can’t control the outcomes they want at that level, they might look deeper into the constructs of the mind. Occasionally, they get to the spiritual center.

It’s true that these elements are interconnected and constantly influencing one another. Yet, I find the best approach is to honor the foundation first. This is the spiritual element. It’s our timeless nature. This is our infinite, energetic make-up that weaves into our thoughts, feelings, and actions. When we address our spirit first, it’s like looking at our roots. The spirit is the foundation that builds a level of steadiness from which we can approach the constant fluctuations of the mind and our ever-changing cellular structure. We’re composed. Unshakable. Unflappable. Emotionally stable and secure.

That’s what I call being centered.

WHAT KEEPS ME CENTERED?

Centeredness, like balance, is an evolving state of being. There are times in yoga when we are stable and grounded. We are rooted. Then, there are times we are less stable or flying or moving, and we’re not as grounded. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It just takes some deliberate action to get back to that steady place.

So, what kept me grounded in my own spiritual center during a high-stress period? What practices did I utilize on a regular basis to stay connected to my true self?

First, I realized that the ability to be centered at all times was not possible. I knew I had to ride the waves of my nervous system as best I could. Most of the time, I found myself in survival mode. I was fearful Steve would fall. I wondered if Steve could keep food down. Sleep was near impossible because I wasn’t sure Steve would make it through the night, and most times he was up in extreme pain (keeping me awake to help him out).

I was stressed much of the time and constantly reminded of Steve’s, and my, mortality. Fear frequently triggered uncertainty about my future, and then my inner critic would create a dramatic story about how my worst expectations could play out.

I knew I could move from a sympathetic, stressed response to a parasympathetic, calm one. The years of yoga and other energy medicine practices taught me this well. But here are some other fantastic tools I used on the regular to shift back into the rest-and-digest mode as frequently as I could.

SPIRITUAL PRACTICES TO STAY CENTERED

Our bodies are resilient and adaptable, and no matter how tough the days might have been, I used these spiritual practices to connect with my true nature.

(1) Meditate

Meditation was my steady go-to technique. Meditation is remembering who we are; it’s stepping beyond our sensory limitations of space and time to remember the infinite to which we are all connected. It’s allowing that grace and power to infuse every cell of our being, like being plugged into a supercharger of love and well-being and harmony.

This reduces any resistance we have to what is going on around us. It also slows down the mind to be in the present, away from the past or the future. It amplifies our spirituality in the timeless infinite.

What I love most about meditation is that it’s portable and adaptable to the moment. Sure, I think a regular meditation practice to create your future on purpose is extremely valuable. Yet, it’s also a way to establish a more immediate return to peace.

I found myself meditating in the quiet mornings of my house before Steve woke up. If we were waiting in a doctor’s office, I could close my eyes next to him and breathe into the now. I could do so in the middle of the night if I was woken up unexpectedly and unable to go back to sleep. Given that I’ve been meditating for over two decades, it was easier to find heart and brain coherence using this methodology.

kym coco yoga meditation swagtail

Photo Credit: Ember and Earth Photography

(2) Write in a Journal

Journaling is a simple and often overlooked tool to remain connected to the bigger knowing of who you are. I used free writing as a way to honestly express the emotions I was experiencing at the time. Through journaling, I didn’t have to talk about them with anyone or make sense of what I felt. I just put pen to paper in the most honest way.

I asked myself questions like:

  • What did I fear would happen if _________________?
  • If I stepped back and looked through a more neutral lens, what might my situation look like to an outside observer?
  • Or, if I were 50,000 feet in the air, what might I see from that perspective?
  • Was there any way I could see all of this coming together in a beautiful way?
  • And when I zoomed back in, was there something else I could do differently now to feel more in control?
  • Was there a new approach I could take to the situation that would allow me to stay a little more serene in the process?

(3) Ask for Help

One of my favorite books is The Boy, The Mole, The Fox, and the Horse, by Charlie Mackesy. In it, the horse reminds the boy that one of the bravest things to do is ask for help. In fact, our spirituality is what beautifully connects our humanity, and asking for help not an optional thing when caring for Steve. It was essential. I got help cleaning my house. I asked friends to pick up supplies at the grocery store for me, or I did curbside pickup. Other times, I had a friend come sit with Steve so I could go spend an hour by myself.

On the communication front, I switched up the expectations I had with my family. I let them know that while I couldn’t get back to them as often as I’d like, I wanted to be kept in the loop with their lives. I asked them to send me funny pictures of their adventures. This kept my spirits high even when home bound and unable to be part of my usual interactions.

swagtail boy mole fox horse image

Photo Credit: Charley Mackesy

(4) Get Support From the Right Teachers

While I believe we have a constant connection to Source, and the answers we seek will be revealed to us, stress can cover up our ability to hear the answers. That’s when others can be of great benefit to light the way for us. But I realize that getting the support from the right teachers is what makes the difference.

My criteria?

Does the teacher claim to be the answer, or does the teacher point me back to my inner wisdom?

Only if the latter was the case did I lean into their inspired words. Dr. Joe Dispenza is one of those people. His talks and meditations remind us to tap into our spiritual wholeness. Plus, the vast number of testimonials on his website illustrates just how strong and powerful we are to overcome any obstacle. There was a soft reminder behind their words, too. This takes practice and time. Stick with it. We’re on the right track. Then, as a teacher like Joe encourages you to look in, you inevitably come face to face with one of your most valuable guides―your emotions.

EMOTIONS AS MY SPIRITUAL GUIDE

Let’s go back to us swimming in a sea of spirituality for a minute. If that’s the case, how do we decipher where we’re at in our environment? How do we know if we’re connected to the Source of All-That-Is or pinching off our connection to it?

That’s where our emotions come in. Emotions teach us to interpret the vibrational world in which we live. We are conduits of energy. Frequency in motion. And we broadcast our vibration with our thoughts, and receive the vibrational data with our emotions. We set our tuner, our radio dial to the world, to decide which channel we want to listen to at any given moment. That receptivity is determined by our emotions.

Paying attention to my emotions was the fifth and constant practice that helped me stay centered in such a stressful time. If I was in a bad mood or feeling a negative emotion, I knew I had forgotten my spiritual core. I was not seeing the situation the same way my soul or inner being did.

On the contrary, if I was calm, peaceful, or even satisfied in the moment, I knew I was aligned with my core. I was seeing the world through the eyes of the Divine. Sometimes, outside circumstances would trigger those good feelings, like a flower blooming next door or the sun turning a brilliant green before falling below the horizon.

Feeling on Purpose

With a keen awareness of my emotions as a guide back to my true self, I could switch my train of thought. I could take some deep breaths, meditate, or switch my focus to find a better feeling. Sometimes it was just a nudge in the upward direction that made a huge difference. I went from frustrated to curious, or curious to knowing.

Kym Coco swagtail feeling good emotionsIt also helped to pick a good-feeling belief I knew to be true to pre-pave the day. Some of these included:

  • I live in the here and now. The present is all there is.
  • I am open to miracles.
  • I relax, do my best, and my best is good enough.
  • I am worthy of the best that love and life have to offer.
  • Things are always working out for me.
  • It’s safe for my emotions to flow freely and honestly.
  • I appreciate the people, gifts, and resources in my life.
  • I am in charge of my emotions.
  • My spirituality is my superpower.
  • I am worthy of giving and receiving love.
  • I am one with all that is.
  • I am a unique and beautiful person, and my presence is a blessing to the world.

What other statements do you use to get into a good feeling place?

Photo Credit: Indigo Photography

PUTTING IT TOGETHER

We swim in a sea of spirituality. It’s an invisible matrix of love, abundance, and well-being that’s all around us. Spirituality a powerful force that gives us life. It’s here to support us whether we acknowledge it or not. Yet we can tap into this current on purpose through specific practices. This allows us to ride the ever-changing waves of our nervous system, and move from stress to ease, activation to rest, and upset to calm more easily. When we align with that flow, we can thrive.

Our emotions let us know if we’re one with the flow or not. And the practices we use can get us back into that connection quickly. The practices are ongoing. I’m here to give you the best tools in your toolbox to be your best self and expand into the life you want.

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